Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

another e-reader post

I love tech gadgets. My computer is still my favorite, but my iPod (I am an iSheep!) and my phone come in as close seconds. They would be the same gadget except for those damn data plan charges!

So, I’ve spent the past couple of years looking at e-readers. I keep putting it off because they are expensive and books are a pretty handy technology themselves. Now there’s another new e-reader out from Barnes and Noble. The Nook. TWO screens-one a color touch screen for browsing your library and other admin. chores, the ability to lend books and some special features for when you’re actually at a B&N store. Although, why you’d need to go there with the wifi and 3G capabilities is a little bit of a mystery. . Very nice- but the same high price tag.

So, to help me make an objective, unemotional decision I found this handy chart…..
shouldyougetgadget from scordit.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, the chart says NO and again my dreams of a really amazing reading gadget have been thwarted.

I have become an iSheep

I’d been eyeing up a Kindle for about a year. I was ready, committed. I was getting a new tech friend, that would let me read endlessly; shop for new books without a pause in reading; allow me to store my books on memory cards to organize them for work and for fun. Then, when I was about to click Checkout in my cart, the Kindle 2 came out.

The sleek new simple design was alluring-so thin and light! None of the 80’s angles that made Kindle 1 so, umm, ugly? But, also, no memory card slot…or replaceable battery…or cover! After a year of reading reviews, checking on the price, researching options, the Kindle 1 passed out of existence into the limbo of eBay. And the Kindle 2 just didn’t light my fire the same way.

So, in my grief and mourning over the loss of something I never had, I looked at other electronic reading possibilities. Netbooks were terrific but too big and with a laptop I already loved, there was just no room for another, albeit small and unassuming, computer. Then, I read a review of the Kindle in which an iPod Touch owner wondered why people would pay $359 for a Kindle that would read books well, surf the internet and play music badly, and not do much of anything else, when for $100 less you could get an iPod touch that did all those things perfectly, with a touch screen AND had the ability to be used as an eReader? Sure the screen is smaller, but you get used to it, said the review. I had my doubts- it’s really small for reading, I thought. It’s just a glorified mp3 player. And, after all, it’s an iPod.

Caving into Apple and their Matrix-like iTunes control center is a big step! I rejected the idea and read reviews about Sony’s new eReader. It has a touch screen! But the cost is even more than a Kindle 2, and the eBook store is the same one you can go to with the iPod. The eReader has no wireless connection at all. Snyc or die. But, the iPod keeps track of my calendar, music, photos, books, games, you name it. It was starting to seem like a no-brainer. But still, me with an iPod? Me, inside the box?

I had to push my pride out f the way and admit it. I was wrong. I was wrong to refuse to partake of the Apple table for so long; perfectly good iPods had been at my disposal for years and I had disdained to touch them, even looked down on what they had to offer.

So, with a hanging head, I went to Costco and bought my new technological best friend, an 8GB iPod Touch, joined the herd and became an iSheep.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly.” (KJV 1 Cor.13:12)

I’m turning 40 this year-in just a few weeks. I made peace with that last year when I turned 39 and decided to start saying I was “almost 40” to get used to the idea. Because I grew up in a situation that was based entirely around youthful activities-scholastic sports, specifically-then chose to work around kids in another setting outside of the school systems I’m used to all adults being “old”. So, since I’m already old, turning forty doesn’t have quite the same impact.

 BUT, a couple weeks ago I found out I need glasses. That is having an impact. Not only do I need glasses for the first time in my life, but I either need two pairs, one for close and one for distances, or I need bifocals. Yes, I realize anyone can need glasses; my 12 year old son has been wearing them since he was five (and there’s a whole other post on my felt-inadequacies). My weekly blog-alarm has been going off all week telling me that I’m really behind and in the meantime, I’m avoiding the computer because the headaches I thought were regular stress headaches were caused by my deteriorating eyesight.

I remember when my Mom got glasses for the first time. She was in her early forties, but at the time I was about 11 and she was Mom-old. It’s hard to imagine reaching the Mom-old stage but the evidence has been piling up. I have a son in high school and my other three kids will all graduate from either elementary or intermediate school within the next two years. I think about the economy, politics and taxes occasionally. A few of my students are married or getting close. Maintaining the car seems kind of important lately. As does replacing the windows with more energy efficient ones. And so we decend into the dark side…

On the other hand, I am a MUCH better videogame player now….

So, you think you want to be in ministry?

Every year, one topic comes up in the ministry I work in: changes and the future. Granted, they’re teenagers so many of them don’t have much Past to work with yet. But, they spend a huge amount of time worrying about and planning  out their futures during their junior and senior years of high school.  There is no explaining to them that they cannot determine every single thing that’s going to happen for them for the rest of their lives. They believe, completely, that deciding what college or other path they’re going to take after high school is the last and biggest decision of their lives. (really, it’s pretty much the first, big decision they have ever had to make, but hey, they think they’re going to be old when they’re 28, too.)

So, Nick the Geek from the Stuff Christians Like blog came up with this quick, little ministry compatibility test to determine what type of ministry God’s going to call them into…because all youth group kids have to go into vocational ministry, donchaknow. Check it out.

Today’s best email

Subject: Karen needs help!! Exploding soda cans in the kitchen!!!
**
As you can see by the subject line of the email that went out to staff this morning, the day is off to a fine start.

I was trying to be nice and restock the supply of sodas we keep in the vegetables bins in the 2 refrigerators in the kitchen here in the office.

We provide sodas and bottled water for 45 cents each – much cheaper than the vending machines.
As I was carrying a case of Root Beer over to the 2nd fridge, it split in half and dropped to the floor with cans spilling everywhere.

Unfortunately the impact caused one can to spring a tiny leak. You’d think that would be no big deal. But you’d be wrong!!

The force of the soda shooting out of the can, caused the can to spin in circles on the floor. I was bending down trying to grab the spinning can, and it shot soda up my nose. It shot soda up my pant legs. I got soda in my hair and all over my glasses.

By the time I got the can under control, the kitchen was a wreck.

Soda was dripping off the windows and cabinets – even the ones up over the sink!

Soda was dripping down the walls, the table and chairs.

Because I had the refrigerator door open, soda went ALL over inside the fridge too.

Soda squirted people’s lunch bags, all over condiments on the door shelves, and it even dripped down into the vegetable bins.

All total, that one stupid can covered an area about 15’ x 15’!!!

I walked my dripping, but sweet smelling self, out to the nearest cubicle and asked a colleague to email the office and ask people to come help clean it all up. About 8 people descended on the kitchen within 2 minutes. Most came because the idea of exploding soda cans was too intriguing to ignore! It took all of us about 15 minutes to wipe everything off, empty the fridge out, rinse things off, soak it up, etc.

Hope your day is a little less exciting.

*****

And the #1 reply winner:

Here are my responses based on aspects of my identity . . .

Pastor – I’m so very sorry.  Can I do anything to help?

Missionary – You should be grateful to have soda in the first place.  Most people in the world don’t have such luxuries.

Your friend – hahahahahahah!!!  hahahahahah!!! (catch my breath) hahahahahah!!  hahahahahaha!