Archive for August, 2008

God’s dreams

Does God dream? Church folks talk about His plans for them, but I can’t remember anyone talking about His dreams. Not for their lives, nor for the world. In fact, I can’t remember anyone ever saying “God dreamed….” or “in God’s dreams”. Why is that?

Presumably, if we dream and we’re made in God’s image, God would have to have a concept of dreams. And, if God can create the world with such enormous variety and intricacy, can’t he dream of it all before that? Or of what it could become after His creation. Did He dream of a relationship with Adam and Eve that they rejected. Can God dream, when He is omniscient? Or does his omniscience negate the possibility of His dreaming?

So, if he dreams and he can dream a life for each of us, do we intuitively know that dream as children? (and how come we translate it as “I want to be a Fireman?”) How do we let God’s dreams for us get crowded out by the world’s messages that our dreams aren’t “good enough”? How can a person hear God when His voice and His dreams are shoved aside by our own weaknesses? What can we do to break the mental chains that stop us from dreaming God’s dreams, and reduce us to the dreams we can only come up with in our own minds? Why would we want to limit ourselves that way? If we see the human dreams as ego-massaging, maybe God’s dreams for us assume that we understand our relationship to Him through Jesus? Then I guess I can see how pitiful we’d have to be to want the power, recognition or whatever else people feel like they need from other people when God is already offering to fulfill all the needs they have. I can’t imagine how we could let ourselves be reduced to the smallness of a human imagination when we have access to the creativity of God.

Do we resent the dreams God has for us? Maybe they’re not as glitzy as the ones we have? If the dreams we have from God look like less but we follow through on them, maybe they will, ultimately, be more fulfilling than the glitzy, Hollywood dreams we think we want when we start out. Why is fame so attractive and obedience not? What will it get us-we crave being known but who can really be sure they are known once they start down a path that’s not true to their soul? It’s just not worth it

Drop the chains and Dream Big.

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A Tangent-Blogging related

I read a fair number of blogs. Some of them are updated daily, if not more often.

Here’s my question: who has all the ideas/words/time to blog that much? I’m not talking about professional bloggers or sites that have more than one person doing the writing under one blog name. I’m talking about people who seem to have real lives, according to their blogs but can’t possibly have those lives if they are spending their time online writing up the next blog entry.

No, really, it’s not a rant. It’s an honest question-if God’s giving them an extra few hours a day to get their blog updates, I want to know where that line ends so I can get in it before it gets any longer. I want to pick up a few extra hours, too! Maybe it’s like the food store-you can go to a department and pick up extra hours for running errands, or gardening, or family time, or home improvement projects or for really cool stuff like snowboarding or bungee jumping or movies or, umm…metalurgy. (Just a suggestion, God. In the meantime, I can be happy with my 24 hours and my very dedicated reminder alarm that goes off when I haven’t written in more than a week)

Figuring out the fundamentals

My husband says I think too much. Most often I ignore those comments, or I deny them catagorically. Recently, I stopped and faced it. Most of the time he’s right. I do think too much. It used to be that the things I thought about were creative, beautiful and soul-stirring. My husband wasn’t exactly thrilled with those either but at least it was entertaining. But lately, I’ve switched to overthinking grown-up stuff.

At what point did I “grow up”, exactly? And how did growing up ever become attractive to me, when it meant losing out on imagination and play and magic? That kind of grown up never appealed to me; much of the time I found it repulsive. So often these changes in attitude toward the world feel like a sudden flick of a light switch-it was light, now it’s dark. But that’s only when a person only looks at the surface of their lives. When you take a minute to really try to figure out how that switch was thrown in the first place, the insidiousness of all of the momentary compromises fogs the mind. There is nothing to focus on but the details in front of you and you realize that that’s really how you lost your way-by following the urgent details in the fog, counting on something to light the way soon. But what happens when it doesn’t? You lose your way more and more. (Granted some people lose their way before they realize there was something to lose-they grow up too early, set limits before they even know there is potential to limit.)

So, lost in the fog, I looked and listened for the light switch to flicker back on from time to time and I guess I moved toward the lights when they appeared. Unfortunately, it was not the light I had followed before. They were flourescent lights-something man made that the other grown-ups told me were the right things to be looking for. Money, status, politics-you know the things I mean, whatever massages the ego at the time. But they were artificial lights. They didn’t burn off the fog like the sun does-they just gave me a direction to head for a little while as the fog became more and more dense. And the voices in the fog cheered me on when I looked for those bulbs. You know the voices I mean-they’re the ones who need you to have the same dreams they do; the ones who burst the bubbles your dreams float in with discouragement and the kindest of advice about “if you really want to get anywhere in your life, you’ll give up that silly idea.” Because the creative, silly, beautiful and magical aren’t fundamental to grown-up life. People give them up as childish and irrelevant.

But when the sun cuts through that kind of fog beauty and magic are, ultimately, all that is relevant. Suddenly, money, politics , power and status are the bottom of the pile of fundamentals, because, really, what use does God have for them? Do we really think, in our grown up state, that God cares about our money and power? Maybe just enough to put us in our place soundly then give us the chance to admire His creativity and magic and beauty and respond to it with our own.

So, I’m not going to assume that I can’t fall back into that grown-up trap again as soon as tomorrow. But at least right now God’s light is burning off a little bit of the fog in my mind so that the “fun” can surface for air and I can ignore the voices telling me that I’m “mental” for acting on my silly, creative, and imaginative ideas.